Here’s another thing that I wasn’t expecting: I’m really emotional. I mean, really, really emotional. I can’t watch chick flicks with the wife because I get all weepy-eyed when it gets sad (although I always tell her I don’t watch ’em because they are boring…). I talk about my new baby boy and I get really, really excited. I even feel really bad for the dog down the road that just won’t stop howling.
I’m luckier than a lot of guys, though. I was raised to know how to deal with my emotions. But it’s a big suprise that all of a sudden I’m using skills I haven’t since highschool! Skills that, by the way, are a bit rusty… The real problem comes up when I’m not expecting my reaction.
A little while ago, we were watching these Lamaze instructional videos (we’re living in a pretty isolated community, so prenatal classes are out) and the instructer said something that bothered me. She said “I hear husbands say all sorts of stupid things in the delivery room. Things like “You are beautiful” or “I’d do it in a second if I could”. Yeah, right!” It bothered me more when my wife couldn’t understand why I was annoyed, too. It took me a while to understand why it bugged me… but it’s kind of obvious now. What bothered me is the fact that the instructor couldn’t understand that a man would be jealous of a pregnant woman, that she gets to feel all of this, the good and the bad, and we never will. She can’t understand that someone can see the beauty of the mother of your kids shining through the sweat, blood, and tears of labour. And she assumed that if she couldn’t understand it, it was stupid.
We talked about it, and while my wife had never considered that her hubby might be jealous of her pregnancy, it made sense. And as soon as we talked about it, it stopped bothering me. Damn, I forgot about that, too; sometimes the easiest way to deal with emotion is to talk about it.